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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

it's complicated..haiz..seriously,i don't know if i should carry on with the relationship or break with him..its not his fault,anyway..its more of my fault than him..my mind is in a state of confusion,right now..should i give up,or should i just keep holding onto his hands??i think,i've kept many things from him..im not saying that i've been playing behind his back or what,la..its just that whenever he ask me whats wrong,i just cant answer, cause i don't know how to answer him..guess,u've been through this situation,a lot,right??how i wish i can open my heart to him and let my heart do the talking,but i know,its impossible..

currently we always fight over small things..actually its not we,but me..i always pick a fight with him for petty reasons..e.g:
  1. when he reply my messages late,i'll get sooo pissed off..eventhough he'll apologize after that, but i don't know why,i can't accept his apology..maybe because i want him to inform me wherever he go..as in,if he knows that he's gonna reply my messages slightly l8,he should've inform me,right??rather than making me wait..
  2. he's late for anything..example,he's late for our dating and stuff..it really pissed me off and will bring my happy mood to bad mood,like seriously
  3. he'll apologise for all his mistakes and keep repeating..hehe..(i guess this applies to most of us)..
for the 4 reason and so on, i've yet to figure out what it is..from these reasons, i know people will say that im petty and stuff..yeah,i admit im a petty person and i love to sulk..and whenever i sulk,i'll never talk to the person,for these cases,i'll never talk to him..for what i talk to him,if i know he gonna make me more mad,right??its better to keep quite rather than continue talking and keep all the revenge inside me..

maybe the main reasons why our relationship,seems so complicated to me, because he loves me more than i do..i don't deserve him..i know..i've asked him for a clean break, but he doesn't want to let me go..for me,eventhough we're no longer together,but we can still be best friend..and he can call/messages/go out with me once in a while,cause that's what friend always does,right??spending time together..but for him,he felt that once im no longer his, i'll stay away from him and not reply any messages and thus, we become just ordinary friend and maybe we'll not be in contact anymore..haiz..

im confused..should i break up with him or should i not??one thing for sure, i need to have a time out from him to think about our relationship..

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